Better Than a Dream

I'm getting married this summer. 

(!)

Of course, you probably knew that. And, if you didn't, you may have suspected that I was, since I haven't posted one single blog since being engaged. I really didn't want to be like just about every other engaged girl out there, sucked into the vacuum of engaged life (which, I can tell you-- is a very exciting place to be). 

It's a strange thing, being far away and in love. 

It has become our normal, but there probably isn't too much that is normal about our relationship. 

For example, Joel does take me on a dates, even though I'm not there, to the beach or state parks (my favourite places!).  I'm not there, but I am...in his heart, and on the phone-- I'm with him as he is describing everything, so that I can experience it with him too. An upside to these dates? I've learned that if ever I become blind, I know that I'll be in good hands. 

Many of my dreams at night time are centred around me being with Joel again. Sometimes they are strange and nonsensical, but most make me feel that I'm actually on the same side of the ocean as him...

In just a few short and ridiculously busy months, I'll be reunited with my Love! 

Which, in case you were wondering, will be better than a dream. 

The soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Kurtz!

www.mrandmrskurtz.com

Psalm 37:4

Here is a story that many have asked for-- and that I love sharing... 


Fall 2007, Circa 7 years ago: Joel and I meet at college. 

One of my very early memories of Joel was his selfless generosity. It was during my early days of owning my very first phone and unfortunately had a few mishaps. Besides repeatedly dropping it, forgetting it, and finally to it’s death by car-tire, my cell phone record wasn’t too bad until I dropped it into the toilet at the Village Market. Smooth move. 

While my phone was getting sanitised and dried out, I decided that I should pray about it and that I would tell my friends about my inconvenient cell-phone-less situation during our early morning, pre-breakfast prayer time at the flag pole. Without hesitation, Joel takes his cell phone out of his pocket and hands it over to me, reassuring me that he was getting an upgrade that very day and that I could have his phone. I still have that phone and I still think that Joel is one of the most giving people that I know. 

Fall 2012, 2 years ago: Lots of little connections are being made: Connecting at Luke and Chantee's wedding; Him calling me up for some advice; Me asking him for some computer advice; Grieving together at Caitlin's memorial service; and his (then) future move to Florida. All of these things were beautifully spaced out-- nothing to arouse suspicion in our hearts. 

November, 2013, 1 year ago: Joel sends me a care package. 

This is when I realised just how thoughtful and sweet Joel is— without him even trying!

Kids, here’s a little bit of advice: 

Boys: You can send care packages to your overseas female friends— but they might think that you like them and freak out a little bit. 

Girls: Don’t freak out, the boy probably didn’t mean anything by it (well… at least not consciously. ;)) But you can proceed in thinking they may subconsciously like you, which means you will freak out regardless. 

Ok, that sounds way more dramatic than what actually happened. So, what actually happened was that Joel saw that his mom was making aprons for her cooking class, and since he was receiving my email updates from Ireland and knew that I was involved in cooking classes too— Joel decided to mail me three aprons (and a few other tidbits). Well, besides there being a handwritten note, Joel also tucked in a blank notecard with a painting of a loon on the front. I will try not emphasise here and dwell too much on the fact that he mailed me a blank notecard. My question was— uhhhh….. am I supposed to write him back?? My family told me “most-definitely-yes” in not so few of words. I thought, Oh, it’s nothing. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by this package or letter or blank notecard. But I don’t think it will be wrong of me to use that blank notecard as a thank you card for the thoughtful package.  

When I feared he wouldn’t get my thank you card until after Christmas break, I sent him a short thank-you-email. And thus began (slowly) our thought-provoking conversations and our friendship started to be whittled down and take shape. We went from a group-setting friendship and from Joel being my older-brother’s-friend, to him being my personal friend too.  

Februrary, 2014, 9 months ago: Joel and I are officially writing and getting to know each other. 

(On Valentines Day even! Whoa— this is gettin’ real!)

This is when I really respected Joel’s manliness and his bravery. It can’t be easy taking the first step of being the vulnerable one. And then to go and talk to the girl’s dad too. I find selfless bravery attractive. 

I still have a screenshot that I saved on my cell phone from when I got this momentous email from Joel. I received it when I was making homemade bagels; wearing the lemon apron that he gave me. My flour-y hands went up to my cheeks, trying my best to soak it all in. 

July , 2014, 4 months ago: Joel asks me to be his girlfriend. 

When I went back to the states for 2 1/2 weeks this summer to see family and to marry off friend Temple and then sister Elisa, I knew that there would be a transition in Joel and I’s relationship. We both felt like we were in a holding pattern—should our growing friendship take off? Or should it land? We could only know by being together.

We had a concentrated dose of together-ness and family events— and we both survived. Well, he barely survived. I had to be his nurse one evening after he got heat exhaustion from baling straw together out in the fields. Its funny how it is, when someone that you love is sick, and more than anything you wish you could be there right beside them and make them feel better— yeah… that’s how it was for me. And it was there, by his vomiting, shaking, and very ill self— that I really realized that I cared much, much more for him than I even realized. 

Joel healed up nicely from the heat exhaustion experience and soon we were in the countdown for my return back to Ireland. On Friday, July 4, we went on an unforgettable walk through the fields of the farm of my beloved home before sundown. It was then that he asked a question, and my answer was yes! (Inside joke for friends at Temple’s wedding ;))

So, now I’m back in Ireland and Joel is in my old stomping grounds in gator-land. For those that think that I’m crazy for being in long-distance relationship— maybe I am. :) And for those of you that are curious— yes, I miss him. This week I wasn’t there for his birthday or for when he took the oath to be an attorney in the state of Tennessee. More than anything I wish I could have been! But— I have a growing list of blessings that come from an ocean between a couple.

In this journey with Joel, I’m abundantly thankful for God’s guidance, love, and His unfailing promises, like this one: 

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

Psalm 37:4 

Fall in Heaven?

Fall is one of my favourite seasons, but I don't believe there will be fall in Heaven. 

Recently I heard someone say that they couldn't wait for fall time in Heaven-- of having the glories of fall here on earth, only better. 

Fall is aptly named. It is a season of change. The weather turns more harsh, the leaves die and blow away into the crisp wind. 

But is this what God intended? For there to be death, even the death of the leaves?

To me, fall is one of the most beautiful examples in nature of God turning a devastating result of sin into a beautiful display of artistry. Making beauty out our shame wasn't necessary, but it certainly reveals the heart of our loving God. And it makes me more in awe of Him for it. 

Now, I've never been to Heaven and I guess we will never know until we get there what it will really be like. But, in my imagination, I think that God will give us something even more outstanding than our beloved fall season. Maybe there will be colourful leaves that never turn brown and drop to the ground, crisp fall apples that would be, well-- out of this world! And so much more. 

He knows our hearts and the desires of it even better than we know ourselves. And more than anything, He wants us to fall more in love with Him. 

Fall is one of my favourite seasons, but I believe that there will be something better than fall in Heaven.

A golden leaf treasure from my walk this morning.

Ireland has a piece of my heart.

Ireland from Jonathan Haring on Vimeo.

Slowing down, speeding up

Sometimes I feel like life is slower here in Ireland than it was living in the US of A. 

Maybe it's because I'm not working in the hospital. 

Or maybe because my work schedule has me sleeping in and staying up late at night. 

A few weeks ago I walked a race with a few lady friends of mine. The joy certainly was in the journey, and victory was never so sweet for them at the end of the finish line.

Life here isn't always walking pace though-- some days I stumble through, trying to get everything done. I'm still not done. Things are speeding up. 

And yet, I'm getting lots of practice at dropping everything (and by "everything", I mean things that aren't very important in the long run) and slowing down to walk along side someone when they need it. To walk the race instead of run. To slow down and to communicate instead of assume. To slow down and take the backroads for the joy of it. 

Don't be overtaken by life. 

Slow down and remember the reasons for living. 

Skibbereen-ing

I spent my day in Skibbereen, the heart of West Cork, at a arts, crafts, and food festival. Mmm! It was so much fun to watch the kids sing and dance and embrace the beautiful and strong Irish culture. This little guy was amazing. 

Mrs. Millea

My sister is married now. 

I thought I'd be in a crumpled heap of tears at the wedding. Alas, only when I was helping her put on her pretty, pinkish wedding gown did I shed a tear or two. It was then that I really, and deeply felt the big-ness and awe of the moment. It was so perfect. She is so gorgeous.

Life transitions, the ebb and flow of sorrow and joy, the love-filled wonder of our small worlds-- all of these things capture the curiosity and thoughts of my mind. It is the people that we love and the God in whom we owe our lives to that makes my world go round.

My sister has a big piece my heart.  

This morning, I accidentally began to Facetime her. It was probably 1:00 in the morning in her time zone. (oops!) She kindly texted me to see if I was o.k. and was sorry that she missed my call. Oh, what a dear! Even though we are thousands and thousands of miles away and there is an ocean between us- we will forever be sisters and close at heart.

Mrs. Millea, I love you. 

If you want to see more pictures, check them out here. 

Summer Joy

April, May, and June were a blur. Turns out that July is too! As busy as it has been, I have been trying to soak in all the joy that I've experienced. 

In Greece, it was my job to herd little munchkins around and try to keep them out of trouble. I spent some time in Dublin for work and then went to the states for a few weeks to spend time with my family and marry off my sister. In the meanwhile, I also happily and officially became the girlfriend of the illustrious Joel Kurtz (more on that later!). I have two new nephews (one biological and one that I claim :) and it is a high compliment to call me Aunt Emily. My heart overfloweth with love and thankfulness. I am behind on laundry, lacking sleep, but am quite ahead in joy. 

Here are a few snippets of joys that I've experienced this summer. 

Greece Joys in May 

[Emily, Sabina, Joe, and Daniel]

Half Marathon Joys with my friend in Cork, Ireland in June

[Ann and Emily]

Baby Joy when I got to meet my "nephew" for the first time.

[Isaiah and Aunt Emily]

 Wedding Joys with my dear college friends at Temple and Philip's wedding in VT.

[Joel, Philip, Temple, Shama, Kristin, Timothy, and Steven]

 Family Joy at the Fisher home.

[Here, brother Sean and sister Anna share a laugh over the coconut "milk cow"]

More Baby Joys in June when I met my sweet and kissable nephew! 

[Aunt Emily and Hudson]

Wedding and Sister Joys 

[Emily and Mrs. Millea]

Joel Joy

[Emily and Boyfriend Joel]

Adventuring Joys with college friends in Ireland in July

[Margie, Heather, and Emily]

What makes you smile?

Giddy

Home.

The countdown is in the single digits. 

(!)

Life full of Love and Schedule full of Life

Over the past few weeks, my sister got engaged, my younger brother started courting a sweet girl, and my older brother and his wife gave birth to a darling son.

I hear it's kind of crazy on the farm right now.
Oh yeah- it's asparagus season too. (Anyone want to do a farm internship??)

Over here in Ireland things have been gaining momentum. The weekends usually include plenty of time with the youth at church and the weekdays have the usual: exercise class, supper club, counseling, and office work. Oh yeah- the laundry, dishes, and cooking gets done too.

I'm at that stage of blogging where there is so much that I could write about but have no idea of where to begin. My heart truly is filled to overflowing. And so is my schedule. Maybe I'll just share a few pictures and go from there. :)

 Hudson Elijah- Don't I have the most handsome nephew??

 Spring time in Ireland is pretty much the best thing ever. This little stream is in the woods by my village. They have a great little set of trails back there! 

Ross Castle at Killarney. We got to do some exploring on Easter Sunday. 

If you come to Ireland---> Killarney is a must! 

Last Sunday was the physical fitness test for the Pathfinders. 

Jared demonstrates how to fly, uh-- I mean how to do the long jump. ;)

Have you ever played crab soccer? Yeah, me neither.

Here's how: Assume the crab position. Play soccer. Laugh hard.

Ode to Facetime

Oh, how I love thee.

 

That is all.

Bloom

"Bloom where you are planted."

It's almost too cliche for me to even want to say. It is something that would be on a bulletin board in a classroom, or maybe a pep talk for teenage girls.

And yet, there is so much in that statement that I actually like. It speaks to me.

Last week I took this picture while on a walk. From this photo, you'd think there would be a field of flowers with some sort of grand old manor in the background. In reality, these small flowers are in a giant flowerpot tub that serves as a roadblock in the back road of a nursing home facility. These flowers don't get a lot of glory or credit.

If I could personify these bachelor buttons, they would probably prefer to welcome admiring guests into a manicured English garden, or perhaps to bear the honor of being in a bouquet of a beautiful bride; not blocking roads in a back alley of a nursing home (all due respect to nursing homes, by the way). 

This evening as I was quickly scrolling through some of my pictures from that day, I stopped and looked at this picture for a few seconds longer... those blooms: reaching for the sun, full of life, full of vibrancy, full of beauty. 

I'll end with all the metaphors already! I was just thinking how my attitude and response to situations and circumstances will help determine my life projectory. I notice a few things about these flowers: 

1. They are looking up.
2. They get the sunshine and the rain: both make them stronger.
3. Their existence brings joy to other people. 

Whether I am a surprising sunflower seed that started growing and blooming beautifully in the decomposing debris and grain in the back of Neighbor Calvin's old truck bed in Oklahoma (true story!), a lonely heather bush in the highlands of Scotland, or a prim and proper orchid on display in a botanical garden: I have the opportunity to bloom. 

If no one sees me blooming and applauds me beauty and sweet fragrace, will this affect my actions? 

If no one chooses me for the Best Flower Award, will this discourage me from being the best I can be? 

Point being? I want to be like a blooming flower: A blessing to others, without the applause. A beautiful bloom, but without the pride. Strong enough and mature enough to grow during the rainy seasons of life. And most importantly? To keep looking up. 

Wicklow Mountains

This weekend I went to a women's retreat in Co. Wicklow, Ireland. The weekend was a great get-a-away, but was filled to the brim with meetings. I squeezed in a few hikes- how could you not? Ireland's beauty never ceases to amaze me! 

Roots

We didn’t make it very far before we started seeing the damage. There was a tree, a massive one that looked as if it had survived all the decades of political and religious turmoil here in Ireland, now smashed to the ground with it’s roots exposed to the cold winter air. We were driving home from our small group study with our refugee friends at the castle. While in deep discussion, the electricity went out and the winds were blowing with a vicious force, and the driving rain was completely horizontal.

On our drive, the traffic soon came to a complete standstill. There were more trees down, this time blocking the road. The cars were being shaken by the force of the winds, and we turned on the news: “hurricane force winds, roads closed, flying debris, trucks overturned, building’s loosing roofs…” We looked to ditch that separated us from a nearby farm. It was now filled with fast flowing water with white rapids. After the road was cleared we saw more trees, uprooted.

Roots. It was a highlighted word, a common thread in last summer’s training. “Don’t neglect the roots”, the trainer would remind us as we dug deep into the parable of the sower in Matthew 13:1-9. This parable and lesson once again came to my mind as I see the rain and floods destroying the root systems. All it takes is a mighty gust of wind and even the seemingly strongest trees come falling down.

The most important part of our Christian experience is our roots. If our roots are shallow and choked out by the “rocks” and “weeds” in our lives or the soil is lacking in essential nutrients, our spiritual journey will in turn be shallow, and overtaken by the cares of the world and other things that we find more important.

From the outside, some may say we are like tall, strong trees tha are able to withstand even the worst weather.

However, others can’t see the roots- the deep inner part of our lives. Are your roots strong? What are you doing to strengthen them? The latest Irish storm has inspired me to be a strong tree: from the roots up.

Why I Said Farewell to Facebook

1. Time. It's a precious commodity. I want to spend it wisely. 

2. Content. I want to choose what is going into my brain. 

3. Reality. It's easy to put on a facade or seek attention in the alter-reality community of Facebook. I want my world to be focused up and not in. 

It was a difficult thing to do. When you read this please don't feel that you need to press "deactivate" as well. Also, let me remind you that I'm no better than you. Each of the things listed above has been a real struggle. I've become so dependent upon Facebook to be a friend. I want genuine relationships: with my friends, family, and with God. 

Here is to a life of renewed relationships.

Farewell, Facebook. 

Content

It is amazing how quickly one can become caught up in the antics and pullings of consumerism. 

Ok, ok. *How quickly I become caught up in the antics and pullings of consumerism. 

"If I just had...." You can fill in the blank. 

I have never had a lot of money, but working as a nurse for a few years certainly gave me a taste of what it would be like living a carefree and American dream life. 

Work, work, (be miserable for a few days) then play, play, travel, travel. 

I didn't want to get sucked into that lifestyle, and there were conscious decisions that I made when I got my first "real" job. Even still, it is easy to fall into a lifestyle of discontentment. 

Here in Ireland, my sheets do not match my pillow. If in my apartment in FL this were the case, I would have gone to Target to buy a cute new set. It sounds really silly, but it is an example of how trained my brain is to think that I have to have things. Things. That's all this stuff is. Jesus is offering more. Be content with what you have, because you have Me, and that's all we really need. 

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for He said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you". 

Hebrews 13:5

Promise

(I really like the view from my front door... and I forgive all the cars and trucks that make our road a busy one)

The rainbow began as a promise, and the rainbow keeps on living because God's promises never end. 

I see lots of rainbows here... I think I said that a few weeks ago, but it's so true! Sometimes, rainbows point my mind back to Noah's days and the very first rainbow. This week, I thought of one of my current favourite promises.

The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? 

The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? 

Psalm 27:1. 

I have no reason to fear because my life is in the Creator's hands. He who puts a bow in the sky as a promise is faithful and can be my light and salvation. 

Experiments

Angela asked me at lunch... "Where do you come up with ALL of these ideas?! I feel that you make something new every day!" (Not completely true, but that's ok). The reason may be that she is from Germany and I am am from America. We eat different foods. Now that we are both in Ireland, our diets have varied slightly from our home countries. At supper, I was asked, "I sure do hope you wrote down how you made this!" And whenever I post pictures of food on Instagram, someone usually asks for a recipe. Most of the recipes don't really meet the qualifications to go onto our Fisher Family Recipes blog. Easy solution? An Emily's Experiments blog.

Nothin' fancy at all. Just notes from my test kitchen.

www.emilystestkitchen.blogspot.com

For My Sisters

I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I really miss my family. 

That being said, being away from home sometimes has it's perks. 

For example: If I were living at home right now, I probably wouldn't have as many magnificent email exchanges with my siblings and parents about life, love, what's going on life. 

And the packages, oh the packages from home! 

My younger sisters are enthusiasts (at life in general) at letters, emails, and packages. 

They make my day. 

Yesterday I got the long awaited package that had tape! I love tape so much. 

Thank you sisters. You are all the best.

Learning

My friend Heather gives me different topics to write about while I'm here in Ireland. I struggle with keeping up with a journal, but I do enjoy writing. By principle, I think that writing is wonderful, especially when abroad. 

One of last month's topics was to write about what I have learned about myself since being here. That has probably been one of the hardest topics thus far, and not because I couldn't think of anything to write. It was hard because I didn't like what I wrote down. 99% of the things that I learned about myself were not so flattering, nothing to be proud of. 

And that's the whole point. Pride kills. It is easier to grow than to get rid of. 

I'm a nurse? big deal. 

I came across the world to do good for other people? So did my co-workers. Big deal. 

I've never left the church? I need Jesus just as much as you, maybe even more. 

I won't give you the nitty gritty. Let's just say that what they say about working overseas is true. Faults are amplified and annoyances are compounded. 

While looking at my list- my goal is to turn them around. Every strength has a shadow, and every weakness is made perfect in Christ's strength. I'm so glad that my God is restorative, that He loves making people into something beautiful, and that He is full of grace. 

This introspective lesson has been good for me. Friends sometimes ask the hardest questions. Thank you, Heather. I think I'm ready for my next topic now. :)