Here is a story that many have asked for-- and that I love sharing...
Fall 2007, Circa 7 years ago: Joel and I meet at college.
One of my very early memories of Joel was his selfless generosity. It was during my early days of owning my very first phone and unfortunately had a few mishaps. Besides repeatedly dropping it, forgetting it, and finally to it’s death by car-tire, my cell phone record wasn’t too bad until I dropped it into the toilet at the Village Market. Smooth move.
While my phone was getting sanitised and dried out, I decided that I should pray about it and that I would tell my friends about my inconvenient cell-phone-less situation during our early morning, pre-breakfast prayer time at the flag pole. Without hesitation, Joel takes his cell phone out of his pocket and hands it over to me, reassuring me that he was getting an upgrade that very day and that I could have his phone. I still have that phone and I still think that Joel is one of the most giving people that I know.
Fall 2012, 2 years ago: Lots of little connections are being made: Connecting at Luke and Chantee's wedding; Him calling me up for some advice; Me asking him for some computer advice; Grieving together at Caitlin's memorial service; and his (then) future move to Florida. All of these things were beautifully spaced out-- nothing to arouse suspicion in our hearts.
November, 2013, 1 year ago: Joel sends me a care package.
This is when I realised just how thoughtful and sweet Joel is— without him even trying!
Kids, here’s a little bit of advice:
Boys: You can send care packages to your overseas female friends— but they might think that you like them and freak out a little bit.
Girls: Don’t freak out, the boy probably didn’t mean anything by it (well… at least not consciously. ;)) But you can proceed in thinking they may subconsciously like you, which means you will freak out regardless.
Ok, that sounds way more dramatic than what actually happened. So, what actually happened was that Joel saw that his mom was making aprons for her cooking class, and since he was receiving my email updates from Ireland and knew that I was involved in cooking classes too— Joel decided to mail me three aprons (and a few other tidbits). Well, besides there being a handwritten note, Joel also tucked in a blank notecard with a painting of a loon on the front. I will try not emphasise here and dwell too much on the fact that he mailed me a blank notecard. My question was— uhhhh….. am I supposed to write him back?? My family told me “most-definitely-yes” in not so few of words. I thought, Oh, it’s nothing. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by this package or letter or blank notecard. But I don’t think it will be wrong of me to use that blank notecard as a thank you card for the thoughtful package.
When I feared he wouldn’t get my thank you card until after Christmas break, I sent him a short thank-you-email. And thus began (slowly) our thought-provoking conversations and our friendship started to be whittled down and take shape. We went from a group-setting friendship and from Joel being my older-brother’s-friend, to him being my personal friend too.
Februrary, 2014, 9 months ago: Joel and I are officially writing and getting to know each other.
(On Valentines Day even! Whoa— this is gettin’ real!)
This is when I really respected Joel’s manliness and his bravery. It can’t be easy taking the first step of being the vulnerable one. And then to go and talk to the girl’s dad too. I find selfless bravery attractive.
I still have a screenshot that I saved on my cell phone from when I got this momentous email from Joel. I received it when I was making homemade bagels; wearing the lemon apron that he gave me. My flour-y hands went up to my cheeks, trying my best to soak it all in.
July , 2014, 4 months ago: Joel asks me to be his girlfriend.
When I went back to the states for 2 1/2 weeks this summer to see family and to marry off friend Temple and then sister Elisa, I knew that there would be a transition in Joel and I’s relationship. We both felt like we were in a holding pattern—should our growing friendship take off? Or should it land? We could only know by being together.
We had a concentrated dose of together-ness and family events— and we both survived. Well, he barely survived. I had to be his nurse one evening after he got heat exhaustion from baling straw together out in the fields. Its funny how it is, when someone that you love is sick, and more than anything you wish you could be there right beside them and make them feel better— yeah… that’s how it was for me. And it was there, by his vomiting, shaking, and very ill self— that I really realized that I cared much, much more for him than I even realized.
Joel healed up nicely from the heat exhaustion experience and soon we were in the countdown for my return back to Ireland. On Friday, July 4, we went on an unforgettable walk through the fields of the farm of my beloved home before sundown. It was then that he asked a question, and my answer was yes! (Inside joke for friends at Temple’s wedding ;))
So, now I’m back in Ireland and Joel is in my old stomping grounds in gator-land. For those that think that I’m crazy for being in long-distance relationship— maybe I am. :) And for those of you that are curious— yes, I miss him. This week I wasn’t there for his birthday or for when he took the oath to be an attorney in the state of Tennessee. More than anything I wish I could have been! But— I have a growing list of blessings that come from an ocean between a couple.
In this journey with Joel, I’m abundantly thankful for God’s guidance, love, and His unfailing promises, like this one:
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
