Will you please hold?

I don't like being put on hold. This summer I was on hold for nearly an hour with customer service to try get our internet fixed at home. More recently, I was transferred and put "on hold" from what seemed like each floor of the hospital and even back and forth between several hospital campuses. I have been told that I am a patient sort of person, but in moments like this I feel like a peeved old woman that ate a green persimmon.

Irritating and crackly jazz music is playing. I put my phone on speaker phone and sigh. I try to make myself useful while I wait.

For the past few months, my life has been on hold. Looking for a nursing job seemed simple. My job is secure, right? I hate the word unemployed and I hate not having a schedule.

I baked so much this week that I am out of flour and sugar. My closets are organized. It doesn't take money to organize closets, so that is what I have been doing.

I tell myself when I am on hold "Don't hang up just yet, I am sure the customer service representative will be on the line soon!" That is what the message says anyways.

Any day, any moment, I will recieve a phone call from a hospital. Hopefully it will be good news. But in the meantime, I am trying to deafen out the aimless jazz with projects and activities, and lots of prayer.

May your will be done. Help me to accept Your timing in my life.

Here fishy, fishy...

In my half-marathon training runs, I have been training my mind more than my legs and heart. One method that I have accidently adapted to my mind training is that of distracting myself. (I might add that this is just a crossover from other areas of my life, and not really a training mechanism at all.)

Whenever I run along the side of a creek, I like to look for fish. Not intensely, but just half-way watching the water and looking to see if I can find any wildlife. No such luck.

This is happy and sad. I am a little sad that this makes me a little bit happy. I hate fish. I don't know why, and I am proud to say that I have less fear of these water dwelling creatures. (This is just a guess because I do such a good job of avoiding fish, that it is really hard to say if I am truly scared of them or not.)

But it could be true: Just a week or so ago I listened to a Report on NPR, and they said that there aren't near as my fish in the ocean as there used to be. Wolftever Creek or the Gulf of Mexico, there aren't many there.

This means I no longer have a reason to fear water or fish. On a more important level, this just shows that our old world's splendor is fading and that it is beginning to die.

Polo

What is more grand than dressing up in clothes you wouldn't normally wear?

That's right.

And a polo match is the perfect high-class event to do it at.

Wonderful.

Family, have I told you lately how wonderful you are?

~lovemily

Growth

I really connected with my brother Andrew as I sat knitting on my couch and listening to him as he shared with me his incredible Student Missions retreat. Each missionary experienced changes when going into the mission field and trials when they came back home. Transitioning is good, but it can be painful.

Where do I fit in? Where do I belong? Has everything else changed or am I the one that has changed?

And as I sat listening to him, I began to have a self-awareness of my own growing pains. The past few months have been hard for me, but very good at the same time.

Moving into an apartment.

Looking for a job.

Only taking one class instead of a full load.

Missing all of my best friends that are gone this year.

I will be the first to admit that these changes have been hard adjusting, but I have been able to do things that I have always wanted to do:

Make tofu and other projects.

Be on an intramurals team.

Go to the same church every Sabbath.

Repaint a dresser.

Run a half marathon.

Reconnect with old friends and make new ones.

Have people over to my house for lunch or breakfast or supper.

Thank you, Lord for providing. Thank you for stretching me.